SCREAM QUEENS 1×09 Debriefing: “The Weakest Link”

SCREAM QUEENS:  Cast Pictured L-R: Lucien Laviscount, Glen Powell, Nasim Pedrad, Nick Jonas, Billie Lourd, Ariana Grande, Abigail Breslin, Emma Roberts, Jamie Lee Curtis, Skyler Samuels, Diego Boneta, Keke Palmer, Oliver Hudson, Lea Michele and Niecy Nash in SCREAM QUEENS which debuts with a special, two-hour series premiere event on Tuesday, September 22 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Matthias Clamer/FOX.

The ninth episode of Scream Queens was all about ghosts and ghost stories. Fabled ghost stories were told as an attempt to keep the Kappas’ minds off their own “real-life” ghost story. One member of the Red Devil squad met his maker this week. And we, as an audience, were left to wonder about his mysterious other half. With just five chapters left in this saga, the answers have begun trickling out a bit more rapidly. Same with the deaths.

You Caught Me

Boone is out and about “living dangerously” on campus. He is on the phone with a mystery caller, presumably the same one from the end of the previous episode. Everyone around him is still mistaking him for Joaquin Phoenix, so he feels relatively confident roaming around. Boone and the mystery caller have made plans to “take Gigi out” the following evening.  He tells the caller “this has always been about you and me.” This whole thing just keeps getting stranger. He changes the subject to Zayday, and asks if the caller had seen her lately. So I imagine Zayday is not actually involved with the killings, despite Denise and Chanel’s certainty.

Boone has a bit of trouble drinking his beverage while talking on the phone, so he ends up spilling it all over himself. His “disguise” slips off and unfortunately, Chanel Number 3 chooses this moment to show up. She is visibly startled by Boone’s appearance, as she believed him to be dead. But lucky for Boone, it’s only Number 3. She is (of course) convinced he is a ghost. She also believes he has come back to get revenge on her for saying that he couldn’t “gay pledge” Kappa. She apologizes for wronging him, and begs him not to kill her. He gives her a bit of a fright and she scurries away.

SCREAM QUEENS: Billie Lourd in the "Ghost Stories" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patti Perret/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Billie Lourd in the “Ghost Stories” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patti Perret/FOX.

That’s What He Proposed?

It’s the last night at Kappa House for the girls, and Chanel is yelling at her minions not to be sad. Chanel thinks she’s dressed like Sacagawea for Thanksgiving, but for some reason United States History seems to be the only subject that the rest of the Chanels studied because they correct her obvious ignorance. Chanel is worked up because she just wants to impress the Radwells at Thanksgiving dinner. During one of their “Compliment Nights” Chad “proposed” that Chanel accompany him to the Radwell family compound for the holiday. She’s especially excited that Chad has given her the traditional Radwell silver turkey wishbone necklace. Because every woman that has received one has “gotten an engagement ring by Christmas.” Except for one girl who ended up committing suicide one year at Thanksgiving. Now their house is haunted. What is this show? Hester is less than pleased. She simply does not do second place, and the wheels in her crazy head seem to be turning. The girls toast to Chanel who has used Kappa for its “proper God-given purpose.” It has made her popular enough to attain a hot rich husband.

SCREAM QUEENS: L-R: Lea Michele, Billie Lourd and Abigail Breslin in the "Ghost Stories" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Steve Dietl/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: L-R: Lea Michele, Billie Lourd and Abigail Breslin in the “Ghost Stories” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Steve Dietl/FOX.

 

A Box of Macaroni in the Red Devil’s Cupboard

Zayday walks into Grace’s room, and is surprised that she has not even begun packing for Thanksgiving. But Grace has mulled it over and decided that she might like to stay on campus for a few days, instead. This girl definitely has a death wish. She wants to do some more “investigating,” and Pete has offered to stay with her.  Zayday is concerned that Grace is making herself an easy target for the Red Devil. She adds that her dad wouldn’t like it either. But Grace is still upset that Wes lied to her about her past. Zayday says Grace can punish her dad by spending Thanksgiving with her family in Oakland. Grace seems to relent just a bit, and admits she is glad that neither one of them has been killed yet. 

Bubble Wrap Is Fun

Denise is forcing the Chanels to bubble wrap each individual item of clothing from Chanel’s closet. She proceeds to talk about the fun she has popping the bubbles and pretending her finger is a gun. This seems to drive Chanel Number 3 insane, and she finally admits that she is being haunted by the ghost of “dead gay Boone.” She is still shaking from the experience. Denise decides they are all going to gather around the fireplace and listen to a story that will “scare their pants off.” The Chanels do not think this is the best idea, as they are already terrified. But Denise tells them that whenever she is scared of something real, fictional scary stories help replace that fear.

She begins to tell them a Japanese tale about “the Kappa” who live in the sewer. When an unsuspecting person sits down on the toilet, that’s when the creature snatches her and drowns her crushed body in raw sewage. What a sweet story.The girls look terrified. Except twisted-sister Hester. She loves it.

Denise decides to tell them another Japanese story about a ghost who lurks in women’s bathrooms. A ghost in a red cloak waits until a woman makes her way into the bathroom. He then makes them choose either a red or blue roll of toilet paper. Choosing the red roll means that she will have her throat slit, while the blue roll means death by strangle. Once again, the girls are disturbed. Except Hester. She wants Denise to tell her another ghost story. “I’m really enjoying myself.”

My Sure-Thing Oxford?

Chad is at the DDS house vacuum sealing his clothing in preparation for his upcoming trip . Boone walks in. “So it’s true. You have come back to haunt us.” Chad makes a confession to his old friend about using his bed after he “died,” but then gives him a big hug. Boone doesn’t even try to convince Chad that he’s not a ghost. Chad runs through all the women he’s been with and all the brothers who have died since Boone has been gone. Though something tells me the latter is not news to Boone. Boone has come back to finish some unfinished business. He needs to borrow Chad’s “date shirt” for a date with Zayday. He claims that if he can get Zayday to love him then he can stay on Earth. Chad is ecstatic to have his friend back, but warns Boone that Zayday is dating Earl Grey. Boone isn’t too concerned. This does not bode well for Earl. 

Which One Do I Choose?

After a night of scary bathroom stories, Denise heads there herself to take care of some business. Upon entering the stall, she sees a roll of red and blue toilet paper. She doesn’t know which to choose. The Red Devil doesn’t give her much of an opportunity to decide, as he jumps into the stall and begins choking her. They get into a scuffle, and she is able to escape the bathroom.

She runs to find the rest of the girls. Number 5 wisely says they need to leave the house. But Denise needs to hear another ghost story in order to lessen her fear of the Red Devil. Hester has a story. Of course. A sorority sister in the 1950s was returning to campus in the middle of the night. While she’s driving, a breaking news story interrupts the radio broadcast. The “Meat Hook Killer” has escaped from a maximum security asylum. A large truck with bright lights is tailing her, and she stops at an eerie looking gas station. She calls for help, but the truck driver just wanted to warn her that someone was in the backseat of her car. When they look in the backseat of the car, nothing remained except for a meat hook.

The story worked, and Denise could feel her blood pressure coming down again. Number 5 is still panicking. She decides to leave campus “immediately.” She’s not going to be the next victim on the Red Devil’s list.

SCREAM QUEENS: Niecy Nash in the "Ghost Stories" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patti Perret/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Niecy Nash in the “Ghost Stories” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patti Perret/FOX.

Boyfriend Material

Earl Grey is in Zayday’s room helping her pack for her trip home. He tells her he will come to visit her in Oakland. He then points out that they haven’t actually kissed yet. They proceed to do just that. Earl interrupts the kissing because he wants everything to be perfect. So he’s off to obtain some items that will help make a more intimate setting. This includes a silk robe. Earl tells her that he will return in ten minutes. In horror-genre speak, this of course means he will not be coming back.

SCREAM QUEENS: L-R: Keke Palmer and Lucien Laviscount in the "Ghost Stories" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patti Perret/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: L-R: Keke Palmer and Lucien Laviscount in the “Ghost Stories” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patti Perret/FOX.

At that precise moment, Boone makes his way into Zayday’s bedroom via a ladder. She is shocked, as she thought he was dead. However, she is not falling for the whole ghost nonsense, and accuses him of faking his death. Grace then walks in the room, and is also quite surprised to see Boone. Zayday points out the fork mark on his hand from when she stabbed the Red Devil in his “evil lair.” She seems to have Boone all figured out. The girls try to get him to come with them, but he falls out the window instead. When they look down, he’s no longer laying there.

Grace and Zayday head downstairs to tell the other girls about Boone. “How can Boone be a ghost if he’s not dead?” Number 5 comes in screaming about the insanity of it all. “If we stay in this house we are all going to die!” She is leaving the murder house to go home. Chanel begins to stop her, but decides she is actually fine with Number 5 leaving. Everyone continues with what they were doing. I guess the Boone revelation was not so shocking.

This Town Is Our Town

Earl Grey is headed back to Kappa but is literally stabbed in the back by the Red Devil. For the first time, RD unmasks himself. And it is of course, Boone. RIP Earl Grey. I was sad to see you go.

Number 5 is in her car trying to get far away from Kappa. Just as in Hester’s story, an emergency news bulletin breaks through on the radio. There is an APB for Boone in connection with the recent Red Devil killings. At that moment, a large truck starts flashing its lights and tailing Number 5 closely. She pulls into a service station, and proceeds to knee the driver in a very sensitive spot. But also like in Hester’s story, he was just trying to warn here that the killer was in her backseat. She looks in the backseat of her car, but there was no trace of anyone. The Red Devil then comes up behind the truck driver and stabs him with a machete. Number 5 screams, gets back into her car, and speeds away. She’s headed back to Wallace University. Seems sensible.

Why Isn’t It Me?

Hester shows up in Chad’s room wanting to know why he didn’t ask her to Thanksgiving with his parents. First thing’s first, he asks her about the neck brace. Her spinal column was collapsing so she has decided to bedazzle the brace and put it back on. Chad lists out the top five reasons he is not inviting Hester to Radwell Thanksgiving. The fifth reason being that Chanel is rich and Hester is not. Hester tells them they will just have to “wait and see” what happens. She blows him a kiss, and slinks slowly out of the room.

Zayday is mourning the loss of poor Earl Grey. She claims that it has to be Boone who killed him. Number 5 has made it back to the house in one piece, and she can’t believe that no one is comforting her after she was almost murdered by the Red Devil. Chanel tells her that her story is “neither scary nor amazing.” She adds that the story is “an exact facsimile of [Hester’s] Hook Hand story.” She would rather Number 5 get attacked in a fresh and exciting way. Grace wants them to focus on the big picture. They know that Boone is one of the Red Devils. “Which means he’s probably the baby in the bathtub.” Shocking. Grace brought up the baby in the bathtub again. Zayday wants to call the police, but they have already been called. Number 3 yells “the police aren’t going to help us. You can’t stop a ghost.” She’s is completely freaked out, and requests yet another ghost story. Hester appears from out of the darkness, and declares that she has a ghost story.

The story happens to be about a girl just like Hester, and some mean girls who could never see past her neck brace. She then admits to “screwing” Chanel’s boyfriend and wreaking “ultimate vengeance.”  “That’s right Chanel, her name is me!” She then drops a bombshell and claims she’s pregnant. “Guess who’s top bitch on campus now, Chanel?”

SCREAM QUEENS: L-R: Lea Michele, Emma Roberts, Billie Lourd, Abigail Breslin, Keke Palmer and Skyler Samuels in the "Ghost Stories" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Steve Dietl/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: L-R: Lea Michele, Emma Roberts, Billie Lourd, Abigail Breslin, Keke Palmer and Skyler Samuels in the “Ghost Stories” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Steve Dietl/FOX.

This Is The Last Straw

Chanel goes to the DDS house to talk to Chad. Chad is still packing. Because packing matters to him. I do believe this is the longest it has ever taken any human being to pack a bag. Chad tells her he chose to minor in “Luggage Sciences with an emphasis in Packing Theory.” I think that pairs quite well with a degree in psychology. She confronts him about Hester and tells him about her pregnancy. He admits to sleeping with her, and Chanel is seemingly devastated. Chad isn’t actually too happy about it either. But now he has to marry Hester and take her home for Thanksgiving. He apologizes to Chanel, and tells her that she can still be his “piece on the side.” But Chanel is not having it. She tells him that she wants him to pay. “You are going to pay big time for this Chad Radwell. You might even just pay the ultimate price.” Chad asks if Chanel is the killer. She tells him “I guess we’ll see.” I certainly do not believe she is the killer. But who can really say at this point.

Why Do You Always Have To Make Everything About You?

Chanel approaches Numbers 3 and 5, and tells them she owes them both “the most heartfelt of apologies.” She tells them that she was wrong about sororities being solely about scoring a husband. Kappa House is about sisterhood. She needs her sisters now more than ever. Number 3 accepts her apology immediately. But Number 5 wants a more sincere apology, since she knows Chanel obviously hates her. Number 5 recounts an instance when Chanel played an extremely cruel prank on her. Chanel stands by the prank because it was “hilarious.” Number 3 tells 5 that sisters don’t always get along. “But that doesn’t mean they aren’t sisters.” Now that they are a sisterhood again, Chanel wants them to put their heads together in order to figure out a way to get rid of Hester. And by “getting rid,” she means to kill her. Killing Hester would only indicate that Chanel is “a killer” not “the killer.” With Hester dead, Chanel will get her invitation back to Radwell Thanksgiving. Priorities. She goes back to her previous conclusion that sororities are only good for scoring hot husbands. Now that Chanel can see their friendships are stronger than ever ( i.e., planning a murder together), she can concentrate on more important things like the hot husband and extreme wealth.

D.O.P.E.

The imbecile campus detective is back at Kappa. He’s brought a sketch artist over so that Zayday can describe Boone to her. Once again, stellar police work going on in this town. Zayday yells that they already have 50 photos of Boone. Grace lists Boone’s crimes, and the dean (YAY DEAN!) just groans in frustration. Grace adds that maybe they need the help of the FBI since the police in this jurisdiction are clearly incapable of handling the case.

The detective happens to agree with the girls, and that is why he has brought along a rather meek “expert” from the “Department of Paranormal Exploration.” The detective adds that his single theory throughout the entire investigation has been that the murderer was an illusive ghost. The recent revelations about Boone have apparently proven his theory correct in his own mind. The DOPE agent wants to track ghost chatter in the house. Dean Munsch tries to step in. But Zayday is more than a little upset, and tells Munsch that she has allowed victims to get picked off one by one under her watch. Earl Grey did not deserve to die. “His blood is on your hands” She admits to the detective that Zayday is actually right about her. And then she calls the detective a moron. She is going to make sure that he is taken off this case and fired. And she is also going to reveal a rather disturbing and private tidbit from their time as lovers.

I Do Have Something That Might Be Of Interest To You

The dean makes her way to Zayday’s room.  Zayday tells her that she is not going to be accepting an apology.  But Dean Munsch never says she is sorry. “I’ve done what I had to do for the sake of this school and my career, both of which will be here long after you or any of the students here are gone. Either through graduation or death.” Leave it to the dean to tell it like it is.  She reveals to Grace and Zayday that there were actually two babies in the tub “that night.” A boy and a girl- twins. She believes Boone is the boy baby. One girl in the bathroom took the babies, and that was the last she ever saw of them.

SCREAM QUEENS: Jamie Lee Curtis in the "Ghost Stories" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patti Perret/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Jamie Lee Curtis in the “Ghost Stories” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Nov. 17 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patti Perret/FOX.

You Are The Weakest Link

Boone is in what looks like a hotel room, but it’s hard to tell. He is regaling the other Red Devil with the sad tale of Zayday’s rejection. Boone is distraught. He is beginning to think that Zayday is just not as amazing as he initially thought. He asks where Gigi is, but RD  just sort of stares. Boone takes out a brand new knife to show his friend (or sibling). At that moment, Gigi walks in. She scolds Boone for jeopardizing a plan “that was almost 20 years in the making” when he took Zayday into his lair. Then he disobeyed Gigi by strolling around campus in broad daylight disguised as Joaquin Phoenix. And finally, she yells at him for going to Kappa to try to convince Zayday to sleep with him because he’s a “ghost.” She calls him the weakest link in their little murderous group.

Boone fights back. He talks about his childhood growing up on the streets, and then an institution. He tells her all the time he spent learning  how to “play dead.” He studied makeup design in order to create the perfect slash on his throat. He pretended to be gay and went undercover in the Dickey Dollar Scholars. All of this was done for this grand revenge plan. His mother would have understood him wanting to take a little something for himself. But Gigi does not. Because she is not his mother. Boone tells her that they are done taking orders from her. The other Red Devil is lurking behind them with a knife. He tells Gigi that it is time for her to go. Just when we think that RD is going to stab Gigi, he/she stabs Boone instead. “Your commitment to revenge is clearly greater than your brother’s was.” Gigi and the remaining Red Devil are going to order room service.

You’re Trapped In A Web Of Lies

Hester is both “delighted and shocked” about Chanel letting her keep whichever clothes she wants, considering she is pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby. Chanel pretends to be okay with Chad’s life choices because she loves him so much. The Chanels offer Hester sushi, champagne, and soft cheese- all items that pregnant women should not consume. Chanel knocks the glass out of Hester’s hand and calls her a liar for claiming she was pregnant. Hester claims she just didn’t know about the embryo-damaging foods. Chanel then threatens to hold Hester in that room until she’s peed on a handful of pregnancy tests. Hester finally admits that it was all a rouse. It doesn’t matter though because Chad still thinks she is pregnant. And the airfare to his house in the Hamptons has already been purchased. She will still  be going to Radwell Thanksgiving, and she can work on getting pregnant while she’s there. She storms out of the room, and Chanel runs out after her, screaming at the top of her lungs. She stops at the staircase, but she doesn’t continue. Instead, she stands there and apologizes to Hester. Chanel says that she is sorry about making Hester feel like an outcast and for getting angry about Chad choosing her. Hester is receptive and makes her way back up the stairs. But Chanel was not being sincere, and she shoves Hester down the staircase. We hear some bones crack, and Hester is now completely immobile at the bottom of the stairs. Number 5 yells that Chanel Number 6 is dead. Chanel assures her that it had to happen this way. She is confident she will be able to redeem herself for this little transgression. She tells the Chanels that this will now become a cautionary tale against stealing hot Kappas’ boyfriends. Time to get Hester into the meat locker.

It’s hard to say whether or not Hester is alive. I have a hard time believing that she is actually dead. It is a bit too early to kill off Lea Michele. But next week is Thanksgiving, and we are certain to get a lot of juicy reveals, as well as deaths. Until then!

“Body” Count Thus Far

  1. Ms. Bean
  2. Chanel No. 2
  3. Deaf Taylor Swift
  4. Shondell
  5. Boone (He Lives!)
  6. Coney
  7. Mandy
  8. Dodger
  9. Caulfield (Missing Arms Dude)
  10. Sam
  11. Roger
  12. Dr. Charles Munsch
  13. Jennifer (Candle Vlogger)
  14. Earl Grey
  15. Boone (For real this time)
  16. Hester??

 

Marla has been passionately and disturbingly obsessed with television since she was in diapers. She lives and breathes all things TV, and attempts to watch anything and everything. Unfortunately there are just not enough hours in the day. She definitely has her top favorite shows, the identities of which will become painfully obvious if anyone stumbles upon her social media pages.

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