SCREAM QUEENS 1×03 Debriefing: “Hashtag Cahoots”

SCREAM QUEENS:  Cast Pictured L-R: Lucien Laviscount, Glen Powell, Nasim Pedrad, Nick Jonas, Billie Lourd, Ariana Grande, Abigail Breslin, Emma Roberts, Jamie Lee Curtis, Skyler Samuels, Diego Boneta, Keke Palmer, Oliver Hudson, Lea Michele and Niecy Nash in SCREAM QUEENS which debuts with a special, two-hour series premiere event on Tuesday, September 22 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Matthias Clamer/FOX.

Welcome back to Scream Queens. The third episode was a bit less action-packed, but I expected that to be the case after last week’s crazy two-part premiere. There were not many answers, and now I’m left with even more questions. Thankfully this episode gave me a plethora of absurdly quotable lines. And the the inclusion of the Backstreet Boys during a murder scene ended up being everything I never knew I wanted.

 

Opening Scare:

As the third episode opens, we see “good guys” Grace and Zayday heading towards an EZ Stop. They are discussing “Coffee Donkey” Pete’s creepy demeanor, and the possibility of him being the “Red Devil” (Side note: my friend reminded me last week that I should be using “Coffee Donkey” rather than my previously termed “Barista Dude”).  Normally, I would advise anyone visiting a convenience story after dark to exercise caution. But as the girls already find themselves the apparent targets of a crazed serial killer, I was already full-on screaming “don’t go in there!” But fools will be fools, and in they went. To make matters worse, Grace confesses to Zayday that she thinks she was too quick to judge poor “Coffee Donkey.” “I just..I don’t know.” Okay well, there is SOMETHING off about him. But that most likely means he’s not guilty of anything but being a bit offbeat.

Zayday makes Grace promise not to go anywhere alone and adds that they both need to use the tasers her grandma sent. As the girls are haphazardly throwing bags of pork rinds and chips into their basket, we get a sudden glimpse of the “Red Devil.” How shocking that he would be lurking in the EZ Stop at this time of night. Grace goes to select a syrup for Zayday’s chips (yes, you read that correctly), when she spots the “Red Devil” and begins shrieking. With the help of the taser and a shelf, the ladies take down the crazed killer. But alas, they have only managed to capture Eugene – a nervous looking lad from Zayday’s Poli-sci class (remember she wants to be president). Not as exciting of an opening as last week, but likely there just to illustrate that there could be a dozen non-threatening “Red Devils” roaming around this campus.

SCREAM QUEENS: Skyler Samuels as Grace in the "Chainsaw" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Hilary Gayle/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Skyler Samuels as Grace in the “Chainsaw” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Hilary Gayle/FOX.

 

Another Missing Body

We cut to Chanel in the meat freezer screaming at Chanel No. 5 about the missing body of Chanel No. 2. Phew. That’s a mouthful. Where are all these bodies going? Like Boone, are they all in cahoots with the “Red Devil” and not really dead? I will briefly digress and take this opportunity to say that Chanel No. 5’s pearly “animal ears” headband definitely gets my vote for accessory of the week. I may have tweeted Abigail Breslin about it. And she may have replied. Success. Moving on, Number 5 recounts a particularly unique threesome she had with Dicky Dollar Scholars “Roger and Dodger,” which has led her to a realization – She has no interest in this serial murder business, and would rather focus her energy on the “golf frat twins.” She’s out, guys. Like me, she doesn’t care where Chanel No. 2 is. Number 5 then gets in Chanel’s face and tells her that she better start figuring out who’s behind these murders before people start snooping. Chanel is less than pleased at this exchange, and screams “I will destroy you, Bitch.” She should probably be a little nicer if she wants to retain her minions.

Chanel Number 2, Where are you?

Grace and Zayday return to the house after their EZ Stop scare, in hopes of locating Number 2. Instead, they discover a giant blood stain in the girl’s room. But have no fear, Denise is here! The security guard does not carry a gun, but she DOES have a healthy supply of luminal. Actually her reasoning is quite sound, once explained: “Cause it also reacts to an enzyme in horseradish and I HATE horseradish. But I love me some Arby’s.” She likes to ensure her sandwiches are free of any traces of “horsey sauce.” Have I mentioned already that Niecy Nash is the best? Moving on, Denise finds it suspicious that no one seems to be looking for Number 2, since she had tweeted “I’m being murdered by the Red Devil.” Grace rationalizes it with a possible nervous breakdown. Sure. Seems plausible. But Denise knows what’s up. She thinks these girls are crazy, and brings up dearly departed Shondell. Remember Shondell? Denise’s “dear friend and Secure Enforcement Solutions colleague?” She got stabbed in the face.  “She wasn’t that cute to begin with, but that is not the point.” Oh the scenes we could have had with Denise and Shondell. Honestly, I just want to quote every single word out of Niecy Nash’s mouth in this show. It’s all pure gold. We find out from Grace, that Number 2 may be presumed dead, but she’s still posting on Instagram. They posit that perhaps she had gone home to California after a mental breakdown. Grace and Zayday decide to venture to Bel Air to get to the bottom of things, leaving quite the irritated Denise behind. “Hoes.”

SCREAM QUEENS: Pictured L-R: Niecy Nash as Denise Hemphill, Skyler Samuels as Grace and Keke Palmer as Zayday in the "Chainsaw" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patti Perret/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Pictured L-R: Niecy Nash as Denise Hemphill, Skyler Samuels as Grace and Keke Palmer as Zayday in the “Chainsaw” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patti Perret/FOX.

 

A Candlelight Vigil

Everyone attends a candlelight vigil held to mourn the deaths of Boone and Deaf Taylor Swift.  It also serves to reassure students that the campus was safe. It’s not. But the Dean doesn’t want any trouble. Everyone’s walking around with anti-Kappa signs to distance themselves from the Kappa-crazed serial killer.

Chad is clearly distraught over the murder of his best friend Boone (who used to compliment him all the time). He notes that it could be “weeks” before he gets over such a tragic loss. This may be an odd time to say this, but I might be warming up to Chad. He is completely absurd, and I guess that happens to be right up my alley. Chanel comes flailing over and confesses that she wants the two of them to be together. Her one request was that Chad sleep with a smaller number of people. This has all the markings of true love. But Chad doesn’t agree with her. He puts on his “psych major” hat and calls Chanel controlling. While he thinks she’s “hot,” he cannot sleep with someone responsible for the “worst pledge class in the history of the university.” Remember, Chad is attracted to popularity. Chanel begs him to tell her what she should do. His answer: “Pray. Pray that all those donkey-faced Kappa pledges get murdered so you can be popular again.” He’s a catch.

Sam comes over to help Chanel Number 3 light her candle (no that’s not a euphemism).  She’s trying to make friends, but Number 3 seemed less than enthused. “Don’t ask a lotta questions about me, okay?” Really I just want to talk about her earmuffs. I cannot get enough of the earmuffs. Billie Lourd is my new fashion hero.

Dean Munsch calls everyone together to “take back the night.” She does her best to allay the fears of the faculty and student body by assuring them that the university is safe. There is no “Red Devil” stalking the campus and murdering students “willy nilly.”  The Dean announces a new mascot to replace the “ Red Devil.” Meet Coney! Coney is a soft serve ice cream cone mascot, which quite frankly terrified me much more than his predecessor. Jamie closes the vigil with some insensitive words, and a “Go Cones!”

SCREAM QUEENS: Jamie Lee Curtis as Dean Cathy Munsch in the "Chainsaw" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Jamie Lee Curtis as Dean Cathy Munsch in the “Chainsaw” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

 

A Home in Bel Air (Without a Fresh Prince)

Grace and Zayday visit with Number 2’s parents, gloriously played by Roger Bart and Charisma Carpenter. The good news is that they did bring Denise after all. The bad news is that is looks like Chad spent Thanksgiving with Number 2’s family. Though the letter he allegedly wrote sounds a little fishy…and was perhaps written by Number 2 herself. Maybe not though. It is Chad.

SCREAM QUEENS: Pictured L-R: Roger Bart as Dr. Herfmann, Charisma Carpenter as Mrs. Herfmann and Skyler Samuels as Grace in the "Chainsaw" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Pictured L-R: Roger Bart as Dr. Herfmann, Charisma Carpenter as Mrs. Herfmann and Skyler Samuels as Grace in the “Chainsaw” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

 

Intro to Film Analysis

Grace wants to live the life of a normal college student throughout this whole ordeal.  She was a bit shocked and less than thrilled to learn that her dad had secured the job of Professor of her film class. He wanted to keep an eye on her. Grace is over it and storms out. Wes carries on with class, discussing the “greatest film of all time,” The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Can’t say I hate his taste in movies. But the way he smiles while watching the film is a bit off putting in my opinion. “Aren’t we all running from the chainsaws in our past?” I’ll say one thing, Gigi definitely dug it. The Dean interrupts their moment to ask Gigi to stop by “her tennis court” sometime this week.

SCREAM QUEENS: Oliver Hudson as Wes in the "Chainsaw" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Oliver Hudson as Wes in the “Chainsaw” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

 

Peace Out Coney

I can’t say I was at all disturbed by the next scene, during which we got a look inside the man (not literally, we do not see the man ever) that is Coney the mascot. I am terrified by costumed characters with permanent smiles, so again, I was hoping I’d see this character as little as possible.  Coney talks about how the costume changed his life for the better “When you put on a costume, you can get away with anything.” He shares his aspirations to one day become a professional mascot. But sadly, he will never see that dream come true, as the he is brutally decapitated by the “Red Devil.” Bye Felicia. That’s it.

Que Sera Sera

Rachel Berr…erm..Hester wanders into Chanel’s closet with a look of wonderment glazed upon her face. She starts to frantically try on accessories, when she’s suddenly caught in the act by Chanel. “This is a heinous violation.” Hester begins fangirling at Chanel’s relationship with Karl Lagerfeld, and Chanel sees an opportunity. She tells Hester she’s going to make her over so that Chad will think she’s nice, and so that there’s one less “loser” in the Kappa House.

SCREAM QUEENS: Lea Michele as Hester in the "Chainsaw" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Lea Michele as Hester in the “Chainsaw” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

 

Tennis Anyone?

Gigi eventually makes it over to the Dean’s tennis courts to discuss the serial killer situation. Dean Munsch certainly doesn’t condone murder, but she’s not completely turned off by the whole situation with the Kappas: “I must say the intensity of the experience of being hunted by a psychopath has really bonded them.” Gigi is unsure that the camaraderie will “stick” after the killer is found. So the Dean has a brilliant idea- She and Gigi will move into the Kappa house to demonstrate how two very different women can get along. Before parting ways, the Dean adds “do yourself a favor. Stay away from my man. Wes and I are kind of an item, and I call dibs.” Alright, well let’s see where that goes.

 

Two Peas in a Pod

Chanel Number 3 pays a visit to Sam’s room, and informs her that she wants to become friends. Number 3 adds that they have a lot in common, for example “we’re both really smart, and when we talk it’s really meaningful.” She actually wants to become best friends or “soul mates,” as she calls it. Because Number 3 has a deep dark secret that she can only share with a soul mate. She’s a “Swenson,” meaning she’s a billionaire (something about Swanson frozen dinners but for poor people), but that’s not the secret. Her dad is NOT her real dad. As luck would have it, Charles Manson is her real father. I love the deadpan delivery of this dialog by Billie Lourd.  Number 3 is apparently worried that if anyone found out who her real father was, they would immediately suspect her as the killer. She wants Sam to be her alibi. She can be Sam’s alibi too. “We’ll be alibi buddies.” Sam suggests the term “Alibuddies.” Is it wrong that I would totally watch a spinoff with these two by that name?

Presenting Number 6

The girls gather around the common area, and Grace starts talking about Chanel No. 2’s alleged romance with Chad. Turns out that he also dated Numbers 3 and 5. Then suddenly Chanel and the newest Chanel, Number 6 (formerly Hester), enter in a blaze of glory to the song Two of Hearts. I’m really enjoying the soundtrack for this show thus far. Anyway, Number 5 is absolutely incensed about this new addition to The Chanels. But Chanel has lost two Chanels already, and needs more minions. I have a feeling Number 5 is going to crack soon. Before the girls can begin that night’s activity, a game called Cocaine and Dildos, Dean Munsch and Gigi enter the house with bags in tow. And don’t worry, Gigi has Trivial Pursuit ‘90s Edition! Chanel is not pleased. But then the Dean then announces that she and Gigi will be staying the week, and everyone is suddenly horrified.

SCREAM QUEENS: Pictured L-R: Nasim Pedrad as Gigi, Jamie Lee Curtis as Dean Cathy Munsch and Emma Roberts as Chanel Oberlin in the "Chainsaw" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Pictured L-R: Nasim Pedrad as Gigi, Jamie Lee Curtis as Dean Cathy Munsch and Emma Roberts as Chanel Oberlin in the “Chainsaw” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

 

Dicky Dollar Scholars- A Meeting of the Minds

Over at the Dicky Dollar Scholars house, Chad and fellow members are discussing Boone’s sexuality. Because clearly that “mystery” was more shocking than his death. But they get back on topic, and we learn that Chad does not think Boone committed suicide. He saw bloody footprints leading from Boone’s “dead” body to the bathroom. This would indicate that Boone was either murdered by someone who needed to “urinate,” or that a “dead” Boone just got up and walked to the bathroom. From where I am sitting, the latter seems the likelier scenario! The DDS’s decide that they are going to do the opposite of “Take Back the Night.” Instead, they will to head to the streets yelling the name of the “Red Devil” until he comes out to fight them. Seems like a foolproof plan. Especially with alcohol involved.

Obligatory Grace and Pete Scene

Grace goes to Coffee Donkey’s room. I’ve now taken to sighing heavily at any strictly Grace/Pete scene, as I just find them both so lackluster. She apologizes for making a snap judgment. And they discuss the possibility of Chad as the killer. But Pete did some “gumshoe work.” Meaning he probably just did some Googling. He found a member of the 1990’s Kappas who dropped out of school. They decide to seek her out, and see what (if anything) she knows about the mysterious Kappa baby.

Everybody…Yeah

This was perhaps my favorite scene in the entire episode, purely due to the music. The Dicky Dollar Scholars take their baseball bats and begin wreaking havoc in the University’s streets in order to lure the “Red Devil” to them. All to the tune of “Everybody” by the Backstreet Boys. It works, but wait! There’s two of them. I wish this was shocking, but it seems about on par for the horror genre. They DDS guys learn that a  wooden baseball bat is a poor defense against two men with chainsaws. We lost two members to these shenanigans. I don’t know their names though.  Rest in peace. I did have some flashbacks to the Friends episode “The One With All The Thanksgivings” when Phoebe gets her arm blown off in her past life as a war nurse. “Ohhh noooo.”

SCREAM QUEENS: Glen Powell as Chad in the "Chainsaw" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Hilary Gayle/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Glen Powell as Chad in the “Chainsaw” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Hilary Gayle/FOX.

 

Cahoots

Denise finds Zayday walking home alone from the library. She offers her a ride, but immediately handcuffs her when she gets in the car. She believes Zayday is the killer, and she’s not going to let her murder anyone else. “I’m gonna be late for dinner.” “But you’re gonna be right on time for justice.” Denise is “on to” Zayday, as she’s a “person of extreme murderous interest.” She presents Zayday with “damning” evidence of her crimes. We get another mention of Shondell, which of course, thrills me.  But then Denise throws out  the possibility that there could be more than one killer. Well, from what we just saw, that may very well be the case. Denise also recites Zayday’s tweet to Shonda Rhimes about how to actually get away with murder- by finding a partner! HASHTAG CAHOOTS.  And here’s the kicker, Zayday has a chainsaw under her bed. Bam. Denise finally lets her go after learning that Zayday’s grandmother gave her the chainsaw. But she yells after her  “I gots my eye on you.” And we know she does.

You’re The Killer! But Probably Not

Back at the Kappa House, Gigi and Wes are having a salad date. It all seems highly romantic with ten different types of dressings, when the camera pans out to reveal that the Dean is the third wheel! Wes looks unamused, and says that her presence is what keeps it from being a date. He suddenly gets a little crazed when he learns Grace was not in the house with Zayday, since the GPS tracker on her phone said she was. I’m just not feeling his character. I don’t buy that he’s just there and worried about his daughter. Something else is up.

Dean Munsch and Gigi head to bed where Gigi must contend with the Dean’s truly unique white noise machine. First we get to hear the soothing sounds of whale distress calls. But upon Gigi’s request for a change in noise settings, “slasher movie” was ultimately decided on. Gigi opts to sleep on the couch in order to get some peace. But really, has she never seen a horror movie? They did have them in the 1990’s. Surely she could pick up a VHS copy somewhere. If for no other reason than to understand that you never go sleep by yourself next to an open window when there’s a crazy serial killer on the loose. The “Red Devil” shows up in the house and attempts to “chainsaw” Gigi. But our oh-so-valiant Wes comes in to save the day. My hero. They both make it out harm’s way relatively unscathed, but the “Red Devil” gets away. I learned from Scream 2 that the killers are always “super human. You must shoot them in the head, people. Or in this case, chainsaw their head off.

The Dean comes downstairs and demands to know what happened. The girls are frightened! But Wes points the chainsaw at her, accusing her of being the killer. Cut to black. And we are left wondering if the “Red Devil” was someone already in the house.

SCREAM QUEENS: Oliver Hudson as Wes in the "Chainsaw" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

SCREAM QUEENS: Oliver Hudson as Wes in the “Chainsaw” episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

 

“Body” Count Thus Far

  1. Ms. Bean
  2. Chanel No. 2
  3. Deaf Taylor Swift
  4. Shondell
  5. Boone (Not Dead)
  6. Coney
  7. Dicky Dollar Scholar With Arms Cut Off
  8. Another Dicky Dollar Scholar

Final (Random) Thoughts and Questions:

  • This week wasn’t as exciting and didn’t pack as many surprises as last week. But I didn’t go into it expecting it to be on that same heightened level. I suspect the rest of the season will have its fair share of shock and surprise
  • There wasn’t a huge cliffhanger this week. Not that there was in the premiere. But there WAS at least a “big reveal”
  • Are there really two killers? Or maybe even more? Who could they be? And why? Motive here should be really interesting once we get deeper into the season. Right now I can’t even fathom what it would be.
  • Where are all the “dead” bodies. Is anyone really dead?
  • I wanted to pause the show to look at all the different salad dressings on the table. Maybe I will this week.
  • I also want to get a hold of a list of all the sounds on the Dean’s white noise machine
  • I’m pretty sure Number 5 is going to try to take Chanel down, and I would really enjoy that
  • Not feeling Hester/Chanel Number 6. I still find her character a bit irritating
  • I am now adding Sam to the list of people I would like to see survive longer than the first few episodes
  • Actually, I am adding Chad to that list as well
  • Also on that list are Denise, Numbers 3 and 5, Dean Munsch, and Zayday

 

 

Marla has been passionately and disturbingly obsessed with television since she was in diapers. She lives and breathes all things TV, and attempts to watch anything and everything. Unfortunately there are just not enough hours in the day. She definitely has her top favorite shows, the identities of which will become painfully obvious if anyone stumbles upon her social media pages.

2 Responses to SCREAM QUEENS 1×03 Debriefing: “Hashtag Cahoots”

  1. kim says:

    Hester looks and act nothing like Rachel Berry not sure why this reference is being used.

    • Marla says:

      Nothing malicious or accusatory by any means! Just a comment. That’s honestly always who she is in my mind. And I do actually see a bit of Rachel’s intensity in Hester. It just manifests itself differently. And their goals and dreams are not quite the same, obviously.

      But to each their own for sure 🙂

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