SLEEPY HOLLOW 3×01: Ichabod Crane vs. the 21st Century in “I, Witness”

Courtesy Fox

They’re baaaaack! Oh Witnesses, I didn’t even realize how much I missed you until you came back into my life.

Nine months have gone by since Abbie and Ichabod saved the world, and life has definitely moved on. Ichabod’s gone on a walkabout to find himself, while Abbie made good on the promise she made in the pilot, and is now a bonafide “very special” agent in the FBI. (That seems like a rocket-speed rise in the ranks, but if anyone could do it, it’s Abbie.) But there’s nothing like a little  supernatural disturbance to reunite old friends, am I right?

Yet it’s not as easy said as done: Abbie’s moved on and is as skeptical as ever, refusing to believe Ichabod’s claim that a tablet he found in Scotland is proof that they’re onto their second bible-prescribed test, after defeating Moloch last year. Ichabod struggles to convince her, which is even harder given that they are without an adequate bunker.  Yes, Sleepy Hollow is paving paradise and putting up a mini-mall.

SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison, L) and Abbie (Nicole Beharie, R) try to come up with a plan in the "I, Witness" season two premiere episode of SLEEPY HOLLOW airing Monday, Oct. 1 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Tina Rowden/FOX

SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison, L) and Abbie (Nicole Beharie, R) try to come up with a plan in the “I, Witness” season two premiere episode of SLEEPY HOLLOW airing Monday, Oct. 1 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Tina Rowden/FOX

In the end, Abbie can’t deny their mission for too long, and the partners are back in business. (Not in crime — that’s reserved for Ichabod’s old flame Betsy Ross, who we will learn more about later.) They share a drink and toast to their latest adventure — but the arrival of a mysterious stranger who happens to share more than one interest with Ichabod is sure to leave us wanting more next week.

But that’s not what we’re here for, right? What we really want is to see Ichabod make more scathing remarks on the modern world, and he didn’t disappoint tonight, folks!

  1. Orange is the new overcoat, everyone. Ichabod begins the episode in the pokey! Don’t mess with Immigration and Customs, everyone.

    SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison) in the "I, Witness" season three premiere episode of SLEEPY HOLLOW airing Monday, Oct. 1 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Tina Rowden/FOX

    SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison) in the “I, Witness” season three premiere episode of SLEEPY HOLLOW airing Monday, Oct. 1 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Tina Rowden/FOX

  2. But it does mean Ichabod makes friends with inmates and throws gang signs for fun, so there’s that.
  3. “I returned to your upright and locked position.” We missed Ichabod’s first flight, and I am forever sad about this. “Crane on a plane!” Indeed, Abbie!
  4. They seized his three-hundred-year-old relic! “A bureaucrat’s flight of fancy if ever I heard one!”
  5. Abbie’s not one to be left out of this game, when her time-traveler is getting arrested for illegal artifact-posessing:  “Something you picked up at duty free?” (Can you imagine Ichabod at duty free? OR ORDERING SKY MALL?!)
  6. Ichabod is so happy evil is back in town. Find your chill, man.
  7. “We need to tap into information of a less terrestrial nature.”
  8. Ichabod is enraged that their supernatural sanctuary is being razed for a mini-mall. Welcome to our disposable society, Crane.
  9. Ichabod is so happy to see Jennie! And is still so awkward about demonstrating affection towards her! (Which is a fun contrast to his very demonstrable affection for one Betsy Ross.)
  10. “We were not a thing!” But were you on a break, Ichabod?
  11. “She was my partner… Often in crime.” Oh I bet she was, Ichabod.
  12. Ichabod discovers Colonial Times Restaurant and he is not amused, but we sure as hell are. “The deeds of so many brave men and women, signposts of history, reminders of our sacrifice– they’ve taken it to decorate an eatery!” (Abbie: “There’s also mini-golf out back.”)

    SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison, L) and Abbie (Nicole Beharie, R) try to come up with a plan in the "I, Witness" season two premiere episode of SLEEPY HOLLOW airing Monday, Oct. 1 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Tina Rowden/FOX

    SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison, L) and Abbie (Nicole Beharie, R) try to come up with a plan in the “I, Witness” season two premiere episode of SLEEPY HOLLOW airing Monday, Oct. 1 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Tina Rowden/FOX

  13. He will not stand for inaccuracies, no matter how commercial, and the young, poor-hat-wearing host suffers the consequences: “The corner goes in the front! You’re not a pirate!”
  14. Plus: “Eggs Benedict Arnold? For shame.”
  15. Learning about today’s legal system:
    Ichabod: No idea what a paralegal is.
    Former-paralegal Jennie: Me neither.
  16. What is more modern than having an existential crisis? Ichabod is more contemporary than he thinks he is. And he gets sauced at ye olde tavern like any of us would.

Welcome back, Leftenant and Crane.

SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison, L) and Abbie (Nicole Beharie, R) in the "I, Witness" season two premiere episode of SLEEPY HOLLOW airing Monday, Oct. 1 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Tina Rowden/FOX

SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison, L) and Abbie (Nicole Beharie, R) in the “I, Witness” season two premiere episode of SLEEPY HOLLOW airing Monday, Oct. 1 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Tina Rowden/FOX

 

Nels
Nels knew how to operate a TV remote control before she knew how to talk. As a result, she has spent an inordinate amount of time pretending she actually lives on a soundstage. When she isn’t watching whichever show is currently capturing her heart, she is writing about how said show is currently capturing her heart. She loves pie.

One Response to SLEEPY HOLLOW 3×01: Ichabod Crane vs. the 21st Century in “I, Witness”

  1. […] lingerie while doing the laundry, on the other hand, is a decidedly more delicate matter. (Bet Betsy Ross‘ corsets didn’t look […]

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