SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod Crane vs. the 21st Century, 10/6/14


This may be more than a few days late and several dollars short, but that didn’t mean Ichabod Crane didn’t keep the laughs coming in “Root of All Evil” this week:

  1. “Admitting a new patient?” – Nurse at Tarrytown Psychiatric Facility upon seeing Ichabod’s retro garb.
  2. Upon witnessing two men hold hands inside a coffee shop:
    Ichabod: Is that considered acceptable?
    Abbie: Oh, lots of attitudes have changed since your days. Not everyone’s, but the Supreme Court has upheld the constitutional right of same-sex couples. And more and more states are even legalizing gay marriage.
    Ichabod: I meant gentlemen wearing hats indoors! I know about homosexuals, thank you. I trained under Baron Von Steuben. His affections for his own sex were well-known… Also, I watched the finale of Glee.
  3. “Is the proverbial coast clear?” Re: sneaking back to Abbie.
  4. “Miss Jenny! Good day! How nice to see you once again breathe the sweet air of freedom!” – on Jenny’s release from prison.
  5. Ichabod is a budding champion against stop-and-identify laws:
    Sheriff Reyes: Mr. Crane. I really do believe I was clear.  Stay away from police work.
    Ichabod: Sheriff Reyes, I have tried to cooperate, but this country was founded by men who fought for nothing if not individual liberty, forged by the blood of men who refused to bow to a tyrant’s will. And as I stand in this public house of law and order, built to defend that very liberty, I declare I’m well within my rights to be here!
    Reyes: Do you? Because I can’t find any records you even exist. And as the person responsible for the safety and therefore liberty of this town, that’s a problem.
    Ichabod: … Well that’s one that’s easily solved. My identification is at home. I’ll provide it when next we meet.
    Reyes: You have twenty-four hours.
    Ichabod: Cheers!
  6. “Whilst no greater advocate of revolution ever shook the walls of Parliament than Sam Adams, the man on this bottle is Paul Revere. […] Surely your historical records show that Adams would never have rolled up his sleeves. He was far too aristocratic. Revere, on the other hand, was a Minuteman…” – Ichabod on faulty advertising on your local public house’s beer bottles.
  7. No money, mo’ problems for poor, snarky Ichabod:
    Waitress: I just need to see some ID.
    Ichabod: Then your needs will remain unmet. I have no identification, nor indeed money to pay for my beer if I had. I  fought a war for independence, yet I have none.
  8. Nothing like a little sneaky diversion in a house of God. Everybody Loves Ichabod:
    Priest: How long has it been since your last confession?
    Ichabod: Oh, feels like centuries.
    Priest: And what has led you here today?
    Ichabod: So many things.
    (Bonus: “Well, my son abhors me, my wife is living with another man, I must confess to feeling a growing hatred in my heart, I’ve encountered a fellow whose arrogance is matched only by his annoyance… Now, I’m aware the laws of the land forbid me from cutting him down, but– Right. Well, thank you for listening!”)
  9. Ichabod gets a little taste of feminism:
    Ichabod: Do you believe I should not have allowed [Katrina] to remain with the Horseman?
    Abbie: Allowed her? She’s one— a grown woman. Two— a witch. Three— a redhead. You couldn’t have stopped her if you tried.

Nels knew how to operate a TV remote control before she knew how to talk. As a result, she has spent an inordinate amount of time pretending she actually lives on a soundstage. When she isn’t watching whichever show is currently capturing her heart, she is writing about how said show is currently capturing her heart. She loves pie.

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